Thursday, June 18, 2015

Why we run the world.

70,000 years ago humans were insignificant animals. The most important thing to know about prehistoric humans is that they were unimportant. Their impact on the world was very small, less than that of jellyfish, woodpeckers or bumblebees.
Today, however, humans control this planet. How did we reach from there to here? What was our secret of success, that turned us from insignificant apes minding their own business in a corner of Africa, into the rulers of the world?
We often look for the difference between us and other animals on the individual level. We want to believe that there is something special about the human body or human brain that makes each individual human vastly superior to a dog, or a pig, or a chimpanzee. But the fact is that one-on-one, humans are embarrassingly similar to chimpanzees. If you place me and a chimpanzee together on a lone island, to see who survives better, I would definitely place my bets on the chimp.
The real difference between us and other animals is on the collective level. Humans control the world because we are the only animal that can cooperate flexibly in large numbers. Ants and bees can also work together in large numbers, but they do so in a very rigid way. If a beehive is facing a new threat or a new opportunity, the bees cannot reinvent their social system overnight in order to cope better. They cannot, for example, execute the queen and establish a republic. Wolves and chimpanzees cooperate far more flexibly than ants, but they can do so only with small numbers of intimately known individuals. Among wolves and chimps, cooperation is based on personal acquaintance. If I am a chimp and I want to cooperate with you, I must know you personally: What kind of chimp are you? Are you a nice chimp? Are you an evil chimp? How can I cooperate with you if I don’t know you?
Only Homo sapiens can cooperate in extremely flexible ways with countless numbers of strangers. One-on-one or ten-on-ten, chimpanzees may be better than us. But pit 1,000 Sapiens against 1,000 chimps, and the Sapiens will win easily, for the simple reason that 1,000 chimps can never cooperate effectively. Put 100,000 chimps in Wall Street or Yankee Stadium, and you’ll get chaos. Put 100,000 humans there, and you’ll get trade networks and sports contests.
Cooperation is not always nice, of course. All the terrible things humans have been doing throughout history are also the product of mass cooperation. Prisons, slaughterhouses and concentration camps are also systems of mass cooperation. Chimpanzees don’t have prisons, slaughterhouses or concentration camps.
Yet how come humans alone of all the animals are capable of cooperating flexibly in large numbers, be it in order to play, to trade or to slaughter? The answer is our imagination. We can cooperate with numerous strangers because we can invent fictional stories, spread them around, and convince millions of strangers to believe in them. As long as everybody believes in the same fictions, we all obey the same laws, and can thereby cooperate effectively.
This is something only humans can do. You can never convince a chimpanzee to give you a banana by promising that after he dies, he will go to Chimpanzee Heaven and there receive countless bananas for his good deeds. No chimp will ever believe such a story. Only humans believe such stories. This is why we rule the world, whereas chimps are locked up in zoos and research laboratories.
It is relatively easy to accept that religious networks of cooperation are based on fictional stories. People build a cathedral together or go on crusade together because they believe the same stories about God and Heaven. But the same is true of all other types of large-scale human cooperation. Take for example our legal systems. Today, most legal systems are based on a belief in human rights. But human rights are a fiction, just like God and Heaven. In reality, humans have no rights, just as chimps or wolves have no rights. Cut open a human, and you won’t find there any rights. The only place where human rights exist is in the stories we invent and tell one another. Human rights may be a very attractive story, but it is only a story.
The same mechanism is at work in politics. Like gods and human rights, nations are fictions. A mountain is something real. You can see it, touch it, smell it. But the United States or Israel are not a physical reality. You cannot see them, touch them or smell them. They are just stories that humans invented and then became extremely attached to.
It is the same with economic networks of cooperation. Take a dollar bill, for example. It has no value in itself. You cannot eat it, drink it or wear it. But now come along some master storytellers like the Chair of the Federal Reserve and the President of the United States, and convince us to believe that this green piece of paper is worth five bananas. As long as millions of people believe this story, that green piece of paper really is worth five bananas. I can now go to the supermarket, hand a worthless piece of paper to a complete stranger whom I have never met before, and get real bananas in return. Try doing that with a chimpanzee.
Indeed, money is probably the most successful fiction ever invented by humans. Not all people believe in God, or in human rights, or in the United States of America. But everybody believes in money, and everybody believes in the dollar bill. Even Osama bin Laden. He hated American religion, American politics and American culture — but he was quite fond of American dollars. He had no objection to that story.
To conclude, whereas all other animals live in an objective world of rivers, trees and lions, we humans live in dual world. Yes, there are rivers, trees and lions in our world. But on top of that objective reality, we have constructed a second layer of make-believe reality, comprising fictional entities such as the European Union, God, the dollar and human rights.
And as time passes, these fictional entities have become ever more powerful, so that today they are the most powerful forces in the world. The very survival of trees, rivers and animals now depends on the wishes and decisions of fictional entities such as the United States and the World Bank...
...entities that exist only in our own imagination.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Still, all in the timing.


I hope you find someone who is brave enough to enter your storm, 
and respects you enough to love the size of your waves. 

I hope you find someone who will relish the calm you can have, 
and who is eager to set sail on the expanse of your mind.

I hope you find someone that can't escape the love they have for you 
because now they have you in their blood -


always reminding them that you are the only sea worth exploring. 

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Humble

I think we all need something.

No matter how happy we are or how satisfied we become, there will always be that little pilot light in the corner of our hearts, flickering with memory and nostalgia, that we just can't seem to ever extinguish.

Many people have come back into my life the last three years in an effort to rekindle that flame, see how warm the glow still feels after all of this time. Maybe it's a friendship, maybe it's an old romance, sometimes it's an old co-worker, trying to make amends over an expensive mistake. But in any case, the point remains the same: No matter how long it's been, no matter how much we've grown or changed, moved on, or how many of our own questions we've answered, that spark of human curiosity always wins out. It's a persistent little agent of our subconscious that simply is just too naive of rational thought to die out.

Sometimes this is good. It allows bridges to be repaired, and old problems with aching joints that are weary from the weight of guilt and doubt to finally be free of the burden we inflict upon our own selves. Many times it opens up new doors, new avenues and connections in our lives that we had gone without for so long, and the light of life floods in, and the lessons we had been learning all these years finally come to fruition and reward us with our bravery of something new by having the courage to accepting something old.

And sometimes that curiosity is bad. It becomes an anchor to our hearts that only allows it to move forward with painful tugs, dragging along mud and rock from the ocean floor of our psyche. With every push forward, there is a nearly equal pull back, reminding us that we failed before. That we still have something to learn, some wisdom we still have to extract. Worse, it can simply settle into the ground, leaving us immobile, and at the mercy of any waves or hurricanes with no way to adapt or escape.

The inevitability of this flame is what keeps me humble. I don't reject it's existence when I feel it's fire, nor do I fully embrace it. I accept it. Walk over to it. And sit next to it. And then I watch it with a tilted head, and wonder why it moves the way it does - why it chooses to dance at certain times of the night. I refuse to be burned by it again. But I will let it close enough to keep me out of the dark.

Some people come back into my life only to feel warm again when they feel cold in their lives. And while I will always offer my companionship to anyone in need, I refuse to be used as a tool. I draw the line at being a safe haven when it's convenient only to be rejected as a human being the next moment for that same reason - convenience.

Others have come back into my life and I couldn't be more grateful at the luck, blind fate, God, or whoever or whatever had their hands on the puppet strings of time. I truly do not know where I would be today without a very select few individuals. Still others I admittedly wish (and hope) come back to visit me when they are ready to keep writing our story, to answer questions they long feared to ask or even answer.

Their time may come. Or it may never. I remain humble in that regard as well. Not every story has a happy ending. Hell, not every story even has an ending. Some stories cut off in the middle of the book and the best you can do is hope their last chapters went well without you. But until I die, I will always wait by my flickering fire, ready to talk with whoever decides to sit next to me again.

I may sit alone sometimes. But never in the dark.

I always have my Curious Flame.


Saturday, February 14, 2015

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Girls In Boxes.


So now that I am finally slowly starting to put together
All the pieces of our puzzle I've been collecting forever,
The edges worn, I find no corners,
I just want to flip this whole god damn thing over.

And all those nights of black and white disguised as red flag warnings,
And all those fights we pushed aside and just had sex till morning,
We were naive to believe
We could refuse that fire so rewarding.

I'm not going to ask, I'm not going to beg, 
I'm just going to put your in your place,
Where you can lie all you want to the darkness
On the shelf with the other girls in boxes. 

We let our egos and intentions bleed into each other.
Lost our luster deep inside the shine of lust and chroma.
I get it now - we were too proud
To admit to ourselves when it was over.

I'm not going to ask, I'm not going to beg, 
I'm just going to put your in your place,
Where you can lie all you want to the darkness
On the shelf with the other girls in boxes. 

It was me and you,
Red and blue,
And this purple stain wasn't preordained.

I can't stand this view any longer.

So now that I have finally finished putting all together
All those pieces of our future I thought would last forever,
I can't ignore, I still want more,
I just want to start this whole god damn thing over.

I'm not going to ask, I'm not going to beg, 
I'm just going to put your in your place,
Where you can lie all you want to the darkness
On the shelf with the other girls in boxes. 

You're just another girl
Now,
You're just another girl.

You're  just another god damn girl in a box. 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Elocin.

i will always be sad that i wasn't important enough to you for an apology. 

that who i am, my heart and will and soul and everything i did for you wasn't worth a simple explanation or call. 

i didn't pick you up from a closet floor because you meant nothing to me. I didn't skip work and buy you lunch when you said you hadn't eaten because i didn't care. i didn't write a song about you because i thought you were nothing. i didn't help you move even though my back was on fire the entire time because you weren't worth it. i did it all and more because we had something rare.

we didn't have to be forever. no one expected that. not even knotts berry farm and roller coaster fridays expected that. it all had an expiration date.

but I miss it all. 

the least you could have done was acknowledge my existence at the end. 

i could have loved you for that.


Saturday, January 3, 2015

sexoF

Of course she's fine.

Of course I'm not.

Of course she wore her office costume.

Of course her friends adore her.

Of course I'm a redacted memory.

Of course I'm sitting in dust again.

Of course I never mattered to her.

Of course.

Of course.






Friday, December 26, 2014

Lights. Camera. Fraction.


That's the thing about friends.

They're there, and they're not.

You're connected to them either via obligation or desire, both stemming from fulfilling social and emotional requirements in order to be deemed "normal". They set aside the traits in you that they disagree with, you do likewise with them, and you all go out to have the best time that's possible. To collect memories. In hopes that one day they all outweigh the bad memories and their value over time has accrued to a point of priceless bonds.

But what do you do if you're never truly invested? What do you do when you want so badly to be, but you just lack the wires to connect to the current? What do you do when you've been faking the motions for so long that no one even notices?

How do you tell your friends that you have no idea what a real friend is?

Where do you go when everyone you've ever known - from the fundamental foundations of your own parents to the furthest reaches of your emotional capacity, your loves - have all betrayed, lied and abandoned you at some point, and you don't trust a single person?

I'm not here.

I'm never here.

I'm just someone reading a script I've rehearsed a thousand times before I walked onstage. Reading lines to props in the background.

The stage is my home, and the play is exhausting.

But she was my greenroom.


Sunday, December 7, 2014

Not For Sale.

"So what is this all about?"

What is what all about.

"This.[points] Why do you do all of this?" [spins finger]

Why do I do... all of me?

"Your long hair. The way you dress down. The beard. Being quiet, like you don't care. Acting like you don't like kids. Acting cynical. Acting like you like being alone. Just... acting." 

[keeps looking up at the stars]

"Is just camouflage to hide among everyone until a girl worth your time tries to tame you?
 Waiting for one to figure you out? So she sees the real you behind this mess 
you're trying to sell everyone that you are?"

[smirks, smokes cigarette]

"I just want you to know, Neil: I don't buy it."

You couldn't afford it.




Saturday, December 6, 2014

Will the circle be unbroken.


And I can't help but try to find you

in every new mistake,

only to find that each one I make

leaves me further and further away.


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Chain Reaction


All right.

Tomorrow night, November 19th.

Let's do this.