Saturday, May 21, 2011

Re-prioritizing America

Loud opinion incoming.
I just got back from a bonfire party, and as usual, many "experts" rose from the drunken ashes. It's always the stoners with a 40oz. in each hand and a 7-year high school career who are the loudest of all, standing in a circle, about 10 feet away from the bonfire, preaching "facts" to each other. I just stand in the sand and smile. Sometimes laugh. As long as I have a big sweater, I'll listen to friends chat all night.
Anyway, the point is, the subject of gay marriage came up, and as you can probably imagine, it sparked quite the conversation. You'd be surprised which friends lean far to the left or far to the right when certain issues bubble to the surface. I never bothered to say my piece however, because 2am at a private beach bonfire and thirty people eating and drinking isn't exactly the best place to make a political stand that will touch the hearts of our future children. However, I did get to thinking on the drive home and I decided to write a little about it here.



About gay lifestyles, no, they are not normal. But this doesn't mean it's wrong or right. Skydiving isn't a normal thing for a human being to do but that doesn't make it wrong. And it's far more dangerous. Moral values and personal and religious issues completely aside, let's think about this at the most elementary level: Biologically. Humans simply cannot live and survive when two individuals of the same gender come together (no pun intended) and stay together for the rest of their lives. However we were created, be it God, druid magic, aliens, celestial luck or evolution, it made it pretty simple for us in terms of mating instructions: Male + Female = Offspring. When two lesbians do what they do with each other, they're simulating a - what? - right. A penis. When two gay men do what they do to each other? They're simulating the female vagina. Why does it feel good when they simulate the opposite sex's genitalia? 'Cause that's the natural way it's supposed to be. Crude, but true. Male goes into female. That's how we're physically made.

However, in terms of how I personally feel about gays in general, I have no problem with them. I have about a dozen gay friends - both male and female - and I can tell you that 90% of the time, if not more, they are wonderful people. I love them and I support their relationships. They're human, just like heterosexual people. I don't see them any differently nor do I treat them any differently. The few exceptions have been the times when a guy has tried to hit on me and flirt with me, and after I denied him, telling him I was straight, but he persisted. I got a bit upset, but this had nothing to do with the fact he was gay. It's the same as obsessive and over-bearing guys at the bar who just won't get the hint that a girl won't go on a date with them. Stop buying her drinks and showing her your trick pool shots; You smell like urine, you have more lotion on your face than she does in her purse, and you're drinking so much you slur your pauses. But again, barring those few rare occurrences, homosexuals people aren't any different to me than any other person is.

So my saying gay marriages aren't right isn't personal or a moral preaching from my soapbox. I'm just saying it's not correct from a biological point of view. But then, why should that matter? So homosexuals don't put A plug into B socket. Big deal.

Manual auto-correct.
And it shouldn't be a religious issue, either. I'm not going to push my religious beliefs (or lack thereof, however it may be) onto another couple. Religion is a sacred and personal thing and it has nothing to do with ethereal matters, such as love or souls. I don't question two people's love for each other, regardless of the gender. I personally don't care if a guy and a guy or a girl and a girl get married to each other. To me, they can do what they like. It's their lives. I respect the fact that they "love" each other and are willing to show it through a commitment of the matrimonial type. The point of love is to cherish someone, appreciate them, and protect them for as long as you can. I love my guitar. My brother loves his Del Taco. Who cares if Jane loves Sally? They're not bothering you. If anything, they just filtered out the playing field and your chances at landing someone else just bumped up by that much more.

But I understand people who are against it for certain reasons, religion being the most common. After all, it's not my personal belief to cut someone's head off if they disobey me, but there are plenty of third world countries where that's public law. I support everyone's individual right to an opinion, so it's fine to me if you hate all gays and lesbians (even though I may not agree with why). But I draw the line with hurting people. You can disagree with someone's religion, race, political view or sexuality - that's fine, that makes you a living person - but you can't go out and hurt them just because you do. Hate crimes are, to me, one of the most evil acts a person can commit; I have no tolerance for them. They're just below rape and murder. And a shade above Ugg boots and the Twilight franchise.

There's just so many other issues in the world - Hell, in our own country - that are of greater importance than two girls kissing in a grocery store: Our plummeting economy, our lowest employment rate since the Great Depression, outsourcing, world hunger, world peace, the world's reliance on oil, our lack of alternative fuels, illegal immigrants, our declining education, our lack of quality teachers and their low pay, our aggrandizing of drug-fueled athletes and celebrities, while our military and true heroes at home go unnoticed, gun, gangs, social and racial equality, drugs, borders, crime, murders, rapes, the entire lawless world of the internet, the global over-consumption of resources, abortion, genetic splicing and cloning, kids being abused at home, our social security, our declining stance with other super powers, the threat of nuclear war, etc., etc., et fucking cetera.

When we solve these problems and issues, then, sure, we can start taking a look at why John and Joe visit the dildo store every Thursday.

So no, I am not opposed to homosexuals getting married. Heck, I've been invited to and attended two gay weddings myself, in full support. Sure, a male and female may be physically built for one another and two of the same gender aren't. But there's 7 billion people on this planet. We're in no danger of dying off as a species. It's not as if, one day, in a post-apocalyptic world, amongst the smoldering heaps of twisted metal and fire, the last group of people on earth happen to be an even number of homosexual people, looking at each other, knowing full well another generation of humans are needed to further our civilization but all they can do is look at each other and apologetically shrug.
" Only 12 of us left? Sorry, but I like dick. "
A person's sexuality is a psychological/physical matter, not a moral one. The moral issue of it being "right" or "wrong" lies with the 3rd person on the outside to debate, if you care enough to. Far be it from me to stand in a gay couple's way; I'm not God. As long as you don't hurt anyone in the process, cheers to you. Marriage is a beautiful thing and true love is a rare treasure, no matter where you find it.

Just teach me how you keep your houses so fucking clean.

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