|First host: Serious business.|
|Second host: Serious about faxing shit.|
On the other side of the quality-television spectrum, we have ElimiDATE. This show is a thousand times worse than Jerry Springer. At least you know Jerry Springer is fake and you can enjoy it. And at the end, Jerry gives an actual thoughtful and good-natured monologue about life. For instance, here's a clip for the Final Thought at the end of an episode called, "I'm Pregnant By A Giant Transsexual":
The premise of the episode is obviously insane - like the show itself - but at least Springer always takes the time to break down the nonsense morally and tell us all how it is and what we can learn from it.
But ElimiDATE is, sadly, 100% real, meaning all those macho guys who think they're the shit and all those snobby sluts with way too much make up actually act and think that way. It's a sad representation of what dating is like. More than anything, I hate the buffed up, spiky hair, too much of a tan douche bags asking questions like, "So how do you ladies kiss a guy? I mean, I'm just askin'..." and then he looks around with a smile and the women (who, by the way, almost NEVER have attractive faces - what's with that?) pull some oh-so-clever line like, "Well how 'bout I show you..." and she walks over and kisses him. But the kiss is never a comfortable, actual kiss! It's always so fucking awkward looking! And then, of course, the other two girls line up and playfully push her aside and kiss him, too. It's like, are you girls this retarded? Are you actually turned on by this guy? Do you really want to kiss him? Or do you want to kiss him just because the OTHER girl did first?
Same goes when there's three guys and one girl. Two of the guys always gang up start picking on the weaker guy. And if the weaker guys starts firing insults back, they all looks retarded and 8th grade. And by the time it gets down to two, that's when the three of them "hit the dance floor" where, for some reason, there's always one guy who can dance well and one guys who looks like he's having a seizure but swallowing his foam for 3 minutes. And why do guys always flick up their collar when they start grinding close to the girl? You're not slick, you're not cool, you're not Elvis, and you're not getting any after the cameras stop rolling.
Fuck that. Fuuuuuuuuck that. Put on a show where there's a point to it. Like Cheaters. And air it right before Desperate Housewives or 60 Minutes or CSI: Miami - y'know, when everyone's watching TV. Hell, better yet, just splice together all of Jerry Springer's "Final Thought" monologues, paste them end-to-end, and just make a show called, "Watch This Show If You're Fucking Stupid".