Thursday, February 10, 2011

Chasing Amy

JAY
So, if you’re all in love with her, what’s the problem?

HOLDEN
The problem is shit like that. It was one thing when it was just girls - that was weird enough. But now you throw guys into the mix - All that experience ... What am I supposed to think?

JAY
You think, "good!", because now she’ll be all true blue and shit. The girl’s tasted life, yo. Now she’s settlin’ for your boring, funny-book-makin’ ass.

HOLDEN
Settling. That’s comforting, Jay. Thanks.

JAY
That’s what I’m here for.

HOLDEN
I’m just having a problem with all of it I can’t get it out of my head these visuals of her doing all this shit. And I don’t know why I can’t let it go. Because I’m crazy about her, you know? I look at this girl, I see the future. I see kids. I see grandkids.

JAY
You’re scaring me.

HOLDEN
I’m scaring myself. Because I think so much of her, and then I can’t get over shit like ‘Finger Cuffs’. [shakes his head] I don’t know what I’m doing.

Holden looks out the window. Jay continues to roll his joint. There’s silence. Then...

BOB
You’re chasing Amy.

HOLDEN
What ... what did you say?

BOB
You’re chasing Amy. I went through something like what you’re going through. Years ago. Same kind of thing with a girl named Amy.

JAY
When?

BOB
A couple of years ago. [to Holden] So there’s me an Amy, and we’re all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don’t really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I’m okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - menage a tois, I believe it’s called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I’m not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic.

JAY
Saint Shithead.

Silent Bob almost backhands him. Jay raises his fist as if to strike.

BOB
Do something. [to Holden] So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I’m out for blood, I want to hurt her - because I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling. And I’m like "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and she’s telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn’t do anything wrong, so she’s not gonna apologize. So I tell her it’s over, and I walk.

JAY
Fucking a'.

BOB
No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn’t disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I’d lacked experience, like I’d never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn’t get was that she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She’d moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret.

She was the girl. I know that now. But I pushed her away...

Everyone’s silent. Silent Bob lights a cigarette.

BOB
So I’ve spent every day since then chasing Amy... [takes a drag from his smoke] So to speak.

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